Out to lunch

[09/19 11:09] etdot: yo, you’re going to be gone a few days this week or weekend, right? which days?
[09/19 12:07] bcmcd: …why
[09/19 12:07] bcmcd: come you aksin’?
[09/19 12:09] bcmcd: are you going to lunch?
[09/19 12:09] bcmcd: are you even there?
[09/19 12:09] bcmcd: WHY DON’T YOU ANSWER!!???
[09/19 12:09] bcmcd: is it me?
[09/19 12:09] bcmcd: did I do something?
[09/19 12:09] bcmcd: just tell me and we can work through it.
[09/19 12:10] bcmcd: fine
[09/19 12:10] bcmcd: don’t tell me
[09/19 12:10] bcmcd: i TRY to compromise with you and this is what I get?
[09/19 12:10] bcmcd: the silent treatment!!??
[09/19 12:10] bcmcd: I deserve better and you know it.
[09/19 12:10] bcmcd: After all I’ve done for you.
[09/19 12:11] bcmcd: TO you
[09/19 12:11] bcmcd: God, I feel sick
[09/19 12:11] bcmcd: You pour your heart and soul into something and it turns around and bites your fucking face off
[09/19 12:11] bcmcd: INGRATE!!!
[09/19 12:12] bcmcd: MALCONTENT!!
[09/19 12:12] bcmcd: BULLFROG!!!!
[09/19 12:12] bcmcd: …ass-nut
[09/19 12:13] bcmcd: I’m done
[09/19 12:13] bcmcd: I’m done with this whole fucking thing, man
[09/19 12:13] bcmcd: you, me, we’re through
[09/19 12:13] bcmcd: THROUGH
[09/19 12:13] bcmcd: …damn you

Hooters Employee Handbook

The Smoking Gun brings you the Hooters Employee Handbook.

Gas prices too high? No problem, use dead cats!

According to CNN, Christian Koch in Berlin is using dead cats as fuel. He claims to have gone 170,000 km (106,000 miles) in his regular diesel-powered carwithout problems. He uses his patented machine, the KDV 500 (more info in German here), to produce the fuel for 23 euro cents a liter (about $1.14 USD per gallon).

Rude Britain

ThisIsScunthorpe is pimping a book, Rude Britain, which contains the country’s most double entendre-riddled towns, villages and streets. The top 100 are:

100 Jeffries Passage, Surrey
99 Prince Albert Court, Surrey
98 Nork Rise, Surrey
97 Brown Willy, Cornwall
96 Great Tosson, Northumberland
95 Trump Street, London
94 St. Mellons, Cardiff
93 Percy Passage, London
92 Booty Lane, North Yorkshire
91 Nether Wallop, Hampshire
90 Honeypot Lane, Leicestershire
89 Mudchute, London
88 Juggs Close, East Sussex
87 Cockermouth Green, Newcastle
86 Six Mile Bottom, Cambridgeshire
85 Cock and Bell Lane, Suffolk
84 Little Bushey Lane, Hertfordshire
83 Titlington Mount, Northumberland
82 Slippery Lane, Staffordshire
81 Hooker Road, Norwich
80 Cumloden Court, Dumfries and Galloway
79 Tinkerbush Lane, Oxfordshire
78 Ugley, Essex
77 Pratts Bottom, Kent
76 Ramsbottom Lane, Greater Manchester
75 Prickwillow, Cambridgeshire
74 Old Sodbury, Gloucestershire
73 Upper Dicker, East Sussex
72 Swell, Somerset
71 Bladda, Paisley
70 Snatchup, Hertfordshire
69 Spital in the Street, Lincolnshire
68 Shingay cum Wendy, Buckinghamshire
67 Pump Alley, Middlesex
66 Old Sodom Lane, Wiltshire
65 Long Lover Lane, Halifax
64 East Breast, Inverclyde
63 Dicks Mount, Suffolk
62 Staines , Surrey
61 Crapstone, Devon
60 Three Cocks, Powys
59 Feltwell, Norfolk
58 Pant, Shropshire
57 Balls Cross, West Sussex
56 Ogle Close, Merseyside
55 Friars Entry, Oxfordshire
54 North Piddle, Worcestershire
53 Mincing Lane, London
52 Bottoms Fold, Lancashire
51 Backside Lane, Oxfordshire
50 Winkle Street, Southampton
49 Wham Bottom Lane, Lancashire
48 Upperthong, West Yorkshire
47 Tosside, Lancashire
46 The Furry, Cornwall
45 Lower Swell, Gloucestershire
44 Lickers Lane, Merseyside
43 Honey Knob Hill, Wiltshire
42 Boghead, Ayrshire
41 The Bush, Buckinghamshire
40 Hill o’Many Stanes, Scotland
39 Grope Lane, Shropshire
38 Willey, Warwickshire
37 Happy Bottom, Dorset
36 Feltham Close, Hampshire
35 The Knob, Oxfordshire
34 Menlove Avenue, Liverpool
33 Titty Ho, Northamptonshire
32 Crotch Cresent, Oxfordshire
31 Blairmuckhole & Forestdyke road, Lanarkshire
30 Pant-y-Felin Road, Swansea
29 Beef Lane, Oxfordshire
28 Merkins Avenue, West Dumbartonshire
27 Pork Lane, Essex
26 Moisty Lane, Staffordshire
25 Wetwang, East Yorkshire
24 Scratchy Bottom, Dorset
23 Swallow Passage, London
22 Lickey End, Worcestershire
21 Bitchfield, Lincolnshire
20 Spanker Lane, Derbyshire
19 Rimswell, East Riding of Yorkshire
18 Lickfold, West Sussex
17 Dick Court, Lanarkshire
16 Beaver Close, Surrey
15 Fanny Avenue, Derbyshire
14 Cockshoot Close, Oxfordshire
13 Inchinnan Drive, Renfrewshire
12 Fanny Hands Lane, Lincolnshire
11 Hole of Horcum, North Yorkshire,
10 Slag Lane, Merseyside
9 Shitterton, Dorset
8 Back Passage, London
7 Fingringhoe, Essex
6 Muff, Northern Ireland
5 Sandy Balls, Hampshire
4 Twatt, Orkney
3 Bell End, Birmingham
2 Minge Lane, Worcestershire
1 Cocks, Cornwall

Hairy ball theorem

Be sure to ask your algebra teacher about the Hairy Ball Theorem, which states, in layman’s terms, "one cannot comb the hair on a ball in a smooth manner".